What would you say
if someone actually
asked?

"What makes you laugh?"

"My husband. He knows me better than anybody and knows the sensitivity of my buttons."

"Those stupid videos where people get hurt. I’m a horrible person for laughing so hard."

"One day I was visiting my grandmother. She commented to me that she was really shrinking because the table had become so much taller... I looked under the table and found that the carpet cleaners had put blocks under each table leg to clean. We laughed and laughed."

"What is your scariest experience?"

"Being held up at gunpoint. The gun was pointed at my head, and the gun holder was stoned out of his mind, his eyes glazed and his hand shaking."

"Without any thought it was when they told my husband he had cancer. I cried for days. When he said the Lord would either heal him or take him home, I told him he wasn’t going to leave me in this mess."

"Being in the delivery room when my grandson was born. That was right up there with flying!"

"What's the most useless gift you've ever received?"

"A tiny can of Spam from my aunt which turned into a running family joke. My mom loved Spam as a kid, so I regifted it and gave it to her as a gag gift. The next Christmas, I unwrapped a small package from my aunt, the same can of Spam!"

"I once received as a wedding gift 'one' artichoke holder. At first I had no idea what it was. But why only one?"

"My mom gave me a pair of plastic things with nails in them that you are supposed to attach to the bottom of your shoes then walk around your yard to 'aerate' your grass. Never used 'em, still have 'em."

"What is your most embarrassing moment?"

"Coming out of the restroom at a crowded restaurant and walking all the way back to my table with the hem of my skirt caught up in the waistband of my underwear… the thong underwear that is."

"A woman was telling me how yogurt is really good for her. I proceeded to ask her if that was because of the baby. You guessed it. Not pregnant. She was not very nice after that."

"Are you kidding? Of course like every other female who will not admit it, it’s passing gas when you are not alone."

"Where do you want to go with your life?"

"More of my life is behind me than ahead of me, but I still have things to do. When I retire, I plan to continue working but at something that will help others. "

"I am not even fifteen and people want to know what I am going to do with my life. I find it stupid. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow."

"During the last year, I have realized that I have no idea where I want my life to go, but I really trust that God will make it an awesome and unbelievable adventure if I let him!"